Childlessness
Childlessness, not by choice, is different to being childfree, which, like becoming a parent, is a life choice. It affects 1 in 5 females, significant numbers of males, trans and non-binary people, as well as those close to the individuals affected.
Supporting our childless colleagues in the workplace is very much a part of Equality and Diversity, and often overlooked. You may be aware that one or more of your colleagues does not have children so consider the reasons why this may be the case. Here are a few ways to support fellow staff who are childless, not by choice.
In the workplace
Conversations
Consider where you are when talking about a pregnancy or relating anecdotes about children. Childless people are happy to remove themselves from the conversation if they are in a rest room. This may be more difficult if they work nearby or in large open plan offices.
Notice boards
Where one or more is used to display baby photos, choose areas which are not main thoroughfares. Work can often be a sanctuary away from being reminded about being childless. So an inappropriately placed notice board of images remind childless people every time they pass.
Flexible Working Policy
It is a misconception that flexible working is only available for staff with childcare or other caring responsibilities. The University Flexible Working Policy applies to all staff, regardless of length of service, grade, or personal circumstances. The University recognises that a good work-life balance is important for everybody.
Staff Counselling
Support networks outside of the University
World Childless Week – Second week of September each year
Founded by Stephanie Phillips – “Being childless not by choice is the taboo subject of an unrecognised minority. World Childless Week is there to raise awareness, find support, build friendships and to find the confidence to speak out and celebrate their uniqueness. The gap that exists between parents and the childless community needs to be bridged and our grief needs to be recognised and respected.”
Gateway Women Online Community
Gateway Women is an Online forum for women who are involuntarily childless – for any reason at all.
Baby Loss Awareness Week – October
From 9 to 15 October, Baby Loss Awareness Week is from 9 to 15 October in the UK.
It aims to raise awareness about pregnancy and baby death in the UK. This year highlights the isolation many people are directly and indirectly affected by the loss of a baby – during pregnancy or after birth.
Each day, explores a different topic, sharing the Alliance’s wide range of excellent support and information and coping techniques too – engaging with people from all backgrounds and experiences of loss.
Further Reading
Living the Life Unexpected
A book by Jody Day. Twelve weeks to your plan B for a meaningful and fulfilling future without children.
Men who wanted to be a dad
Robin Hadley recently completed a PhD where he explored the experience of involuntary childless older men.
Childless Blog
Childless Staff Network
Whether you’re childless due to infertility or circumstance, the University of Bristol Childless Staff Network is here as a supportive, friendly, and compassionate community.
My Childless Journey - One Person's Testimony
Everybody has a different story – here’s the testimony of one University of Bristol staff member.