Oldest Quotes

Dating back to 2001/2002, these are from the very first year of the quotes board. Although they are quite old now, many are funny even if you don't know the people. The most recent quotes can be found at the current quotes board and there is another page of historic quotes.

Scotland Quotes 2002

We drove down a road and hit a peasant - Yue

Oooo you're well equipped - Ruth 1

Nigel you're drooping - Ruth 1

I've got Ruth horizontal - Al

As long as I've got a waterproof coat on I'm fairly satisfied - Caroline

You pick up anything dead - Tony

I'm already drunk and I've only had half of my coke! - Yue

I wear XXL boxer shorts - Ruth

I tried to get friendly with some sheep, but they ran away - Yue

Quotes 2001-2002

I've never seen anyone do it with a knife and fork before - Tony, 19 Mar 02

That's gonna be a hard one - James, 19 Mar 02

Is it very hard though? - Ruth 1, 19 Mar 02

Tony's had more than me - Ruth 1, 19 Mar 02

I don't do it on demand - Beth, 17 Mar 02

I've got things to play with - Ruth 1, 17 Mar 02

Wow, that's a big one - Caroline, 17 Mar 02

Yogurt? - Tim
That makes it really moist - Ruth 1, 17 Mar 02

I'm the king of the castle... and Shaun's the queen! - Sue, 17 Mar 02

I've never seen one like that before - Ruth 1, 17 Mar 02

Put it in that nice hole there - Shaun, 17 Mar 02

I love you bush, I love you! - Beth, 17 Mar 02

Tim looks rather sexy there - Chris, 12 Mar 02

Cor, that's a big one - Ruth 2, 3 Mar 02

Mine are just the biggest ones in the room - Al, 3 Mar 02

Cor, that feels hard - Tony, 3 Mar 02

You've grown 5 inches Shaun - Mary, 3 Mar 02

I was not snoring or moaning or farting or anything - Beth, 3 Mar 02

Oooh! It's so hard... it's so big! Oooh! I think I can fit the big one in here! - Ruth, 2 Mar 02

Bagsy going with Robert - Ruth
Does that mean I'm playing with Shaun then? - Ruth 2, 2 Mar 02

He's a man, he has to beat you - Mary, 2 Mar 02

It was cold and it was hard and it was pointy - Sue, 2 Mar 02

The moment she was unconscious we could do what we wanted - Alastair, 2 Mar 02

If it was dark we wouldn't see people winking at us - Tony, 2 Mar 02

Tony, may I recline on your bed? - Sue, 2 Mar 02

Ooo, did I give you too much? That's so exciting!! - Ruth, 2 Mar 02

You can do one hole each - Gemma, 2 Mar 02

I nearly had you earlier on - Tony, 2 Mar 02

There's something quite hard down there at the moment - Al, 2 Mar 02

Give Shaun a big one - Sue, 2 Mar 02

It's a bit curly on the end - Tony, 2 Mar 02

Oh good, you're putting it away - Ally, 2 Mar 02

That's a hell of a pair! - Mary
Mary always gets twisted around - Beth, 2 Mar 02

I'm getting offers from everywhere! - Ruth 2, 1 Mar 02

I do not fart - Beth
You do, all night long - James, 1 Mar 02

Ooh my bladder! - Beth, 26 Feb 02

I spontaneously combusted into laughter when I looked at Tim yesterday - Sue, 26 Feb 02

Don't encourage that sort of behaviour - Beth
I've got a goat - Mary
It's not that bad - Chris
I don't want to go there! - Beth
How do you know if you've never tried? - Chris, 26 Feb 02

I want a little tiny one like my dad's - Al, 24 Feb 02

Hold on Al, I'll have it off in a minute - Tony, 24 Feb 02

Ruth's been around quite a bit recently - Tim, 24 Feb 02

I sleep with Tina - Ruth, 21 Feb 02

It's much more fun with power tools - Al, 14 Feb 02

What? You've never done it sober?! - Ally
No! - Tony, 14 Feb 02

What do you expect me to do? Sit on him or something? - Ally, 14 Feb 02

Beth had this massive great one in her hands - Rob, 14 Feb 02

I've gotta remember to take my trousers with me - Tony, 14 Feb 02

I'll just lie here with Gemma impaled in me - Tony, 14 Feb 02

I don't know anything about the bare naked ladies - Tony, 14 Feb 02

Can we have a quote-book free night please? - Tony, 14 Feb 02

Set the pace Tony - Mary, 12 Feb 02

Mine's only a small one - Shaun, 12 Feb 02

Do you know Tim? He's so sexy - Mary, 12 Feb 02

There's nothing quite like an excited Ruth - Tony, 12 Feb 02

The other one was too bent to go up and down - Tony, 12 Feb 02

Do you toss? - Ruth, 12 Feb 02

I am so hot! - Beth, 12 Feb 02

What's an AGM? - Ruth, 12 Feb 02

How did four inches come up? - Ruth, 12 Feb 02

I think I'm going to go and hide in a bush - Al, 10 Feb 02

I have yellow balls, what colour are yours? - Al, 10 Feb 02

He's spending all night in Emily - Ally, 10 Feb 02

It's been eaten by something between Gemma's legs - Tony, 10 Feb 02

I'm quite happy not having any quotes on the quotes board - Al, 10 Feb 02

Alan, it's all sticky - Ally, 10 Feb 02

Do you need some balls? - Ruth, 6 Feb 02

I've finally found you, and my glasses have steamed up! - Ruth, 6 Feb 02

I've been up the other end all day - Tony, 6 Feb 02

If I don't have it off, I really notice - Ruth, 4 Feb 02

I don't strut, I just get on with it - Chris, 4 Feb 20

Chris was at home watching Blind Date - Beth, 31 Jan 02

It was this big - Beth, 31 Jan 02

We're smoking him out, like a rat! - Gemma, 23 Jan 02

This is the best walk ever - small boy, 20 Jan 02

I've got the willy pen - Beth, 10 Dec 01

Ooh, this one's soft and squidgy - Ruth, 10 Dec 01

I'm up for anything, you know - Beth, 10 Dec 01

Boy is that going to be sticky in the morning - Tony, 10 Dec 01

Mary has an amazing arse - Mary, 10 Dec 01

I am not getting off with Tim - Tony, 10 Dec 01

As an engineer, I don't do faces - Tony, 10 Dec 01

...and the honour of the 1st quote goes (aptly) to Beth:

We've lost Chris and he's in Mel's room - Beth, 10 Dec 01

Old scrapbook
Current quotes board