Old Quotes

Here are all the quotes from 2002-2004 for your reading pleasure. For more up-to-date submissions go to the current quotes board or you can go prehistoric and look at the oldest ones.

Scotland Quotes 2004

You nearly had a Lisa in your lap - Gwen (to Sam)

A lot of people do it in a chicken - Tony

Shall I start fondling some balls? - Rob

You can milk yourself to your own satisfaction - Tony

Normally it takes minutes before I say something stupid - Tony

I can't get in any further, my nose is too big - Gemma

What's a three-letter beverage beginning with T? ....tea! - Gemma

We want to be comfier together - Tony

That's not fair it's the second time today *hiccup* - Lisa

I was just leant on a tree and my hand fell off - Rob

Using my tongue would be not very nice - Vicky

Our tactic here is to get them while they're young - Sam

It's less big but it's more defined - Rob

It's firm and chocolatey and mmmmm - Tony

That's something else it'd be good to do in the back of a Landrover - Tim

They all rolled into one exciting load of sausage - Vicky

Do you want to play WITH somebody? - Gemma

It's more fun when you're not careful - Gwen

That's why I needed the custard: lubrication - Tony

You just hold your nose and swallow... and hope for the best - Vicky

I like the French one better, we haven't had a French one yet - Sam

Est-ce que je peux borroway votre thingy? - Vicky

No-one suck Molly - Tim

I really don't like this, it's too long - Vicky

I've made a Gwen vibrator - Ally
It's really weird! My whole bum's vibrating! - Gwen

Walkers are often really stupid... and I'm walking in a river - Tony

It's quite excitable - it keeps squirting juice everywhere! - Sam

Quotes 2003-2004

[Chocolate] Tim just straddled the marshmallow stick - Gemma, 8th June 2004

You've got to stick it in your mouth and chew - Ruth, 16th March 2004

I have to sit on a very large one because I'm a big person - Ruth, 16th March 2004

The big ones aren't good - Ruth, 16th March 2004

I must get one of those rug spanker things - Vicky, 16th March 2004

Ally's busy straining the monkey! - Sam, amongst other monkey comments, 14th March 2004

Sam, Rob wants to know how far apart Gwen's legs stretch! - Tim, 14th March 2004

Can I lick them, Rob? - Tim, 14th March 2004

Now I've got four legs I can be a horse - Gemma, 29th February 2004

I have a nob shaped thing; it's stuck between my legs. - Rob, 15th February 2004

Oooo that was impressive Rob, do it again! - Vicky, 15th February 2004

Would you like to sit on my nobbly thing? - Sam, 15th February 2004

I'll have to get off my nobbly thing first. - Sam, 15th February 2004

I'll get off now, my nobbly thing is getting painful... - Sam, 15th February 2004

I like scary old men - Tim, 1st February 2004

Give it a kiss, it likes you Tim! - Anon, talking to Tim, who was doing something with a goat... 1st February 2004

Most of these quotes are quite clean - Tim, 1st February 2004

It's exciting when you find one that fits! - Gwen, 1st February 2004

I guess sometimes there just aren't enough rocks. - Forrest Gump, dry stone walling, 1st February 2004

I have a fantasy - Tim, 1st February 2004

We all have fantasies - in charge bloke, 1st February 2004

Am I good or am I good? - Chocolate Tim, from behind a bush... 18th January 2004

It's not as big as yours but I can fit mine in my pocket - Tim to Ally, 18th January 2004

Two Gwens? One for general wear and one for special occasions? - Sam, 2nd December 2003

I'll polish off a 12" one myself! - Vicky, 2nd December 2003

All men like holes - Tony, 2nd December 2003

My life is full of short gay men - Ruth, 10th November 2003

I spent almost all day yesterday underneath Tara - Tony, 12th October 2003

I'm easy to pick up! - Gwen, 28th September 2003

Scotland Quotes 2003

My God he's huge! - Vicky, refering to Spot

It's so small - bigger is better! - Ruth

Is that blonde you're got, can I have a touch?
You can have a touch but not a drink. - Simon/Ben

I was thinking of unzipping my trousers - Tom

I've never seen a worm do that - Gemma

We need a picture of Sam spanking - Gwen

I think they should go down as a pair - Tony

Aah! I know where your hand's been today...! - Tony

We just blew very hard when the balls got close - Ruth

...and it worked! Alan said it was cheating but it wasn't! We were just giving the balls moral support! - still Ruth

What's that noise? It's the vibratory sort! - Gwen

I've had easier though - Ben

I have had it harder! - Tom

I found a zip to play with! - Sam

I like new experiences, they excite me! - Ruth

That wasn't a poke that was a twiddle - Sam

You can either move your legs or I shall yank them off - Sam (at least, that's what I meant to say...)

Quotes 2002-2003

I think I'm going to be stiff in the morning - Sam, walking back from the Pub with Tony

She didn't come on anything - Ally about Ruth, 19th June 2003 (BBQ)

Five minutes in and out! - Ruth, 19th June 2003 (BBQ)

I kept fingering it and now it's gone all squishy. - Chris, 17th March 2003 (AGM)

We're filling it in from either side but i've got the bigger hole - Al, 16th February 2003

I think i'd rather have you than Ed - Mary (to Tony), 16th February 2003

Is there anything enormous down there? - Al, 16th February 2003

It's actually quite firm - Al, 16th February 2003

You're quite big, aren't you Al? - Mary, 16th February 2003

Can you see over it? It's so big! - Gemma, 13th February 2003

Those balls are hard! - Ruth 1, 13th February 2003

If anyone wants to come twice it'll make things more exciting - Ruth 1, 13th February 2003

I've had some of my best moments with a McFlurry - Tony, 6th February 2003

If I wasn't insane I wouldn't like any of you - Ally, 19th January 2003

You can't have her two evenings this week - Tony, 15th January 2003

I'll have to learn to use my feminine wiles - Sam, 16th January 2003

I'm physically fairly useless - Tony, 15th January 2003

He said boo and my entire bed shook - Ruth 1, 31st October 2002

I think he fancies me - Gareth, 31st October 2002

He was clasped onto his trousers, thrusting - Ruth 2, 31st October 2002

I know how to arouse a squirrel - Gareth, 31st October 2002

It's kind of stuck in Harry so it might take a while to get it out - Ally, 31st October 2002

He's kind of aroused - Gareth, 31st October 2002

Have you been feeling up Harry? - Tony (to Gareth), 31st October 2002

I keep seeing pimps - Ed, Alfrick October 2002

Al's hot - Ally, Alfrick October 2002

It's staying up - Lisa, Alfrick October 2002

He had to erect it in the living room - Ruth 1, Alfrick October 2002

I'll give her a week and she'll be in my bed - Philippa, 13th October 2002

I can't do an elephant, its too big - Rob, 15th October 2002

More quotes

For more classic quotes see here.

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