Vulnerability is described as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure; however, it is also fundamental and necessary (Brown, 2012). In this talk I reflect on the interviews I had with vulnerable families, my own vulnerability as a researcher and conversations with academic mentors. The conversations have informed my practice because the dialogue enabled me to find the words which I had not been able to access, making the conversations essential for my survival skills as a black researcher.

I became aware of my vulnerability as a black academic and researcher within the research process as well as within practice as a teacher. The families I engaged with were vulnerable because they were viewed as families at risk for not only poverty, substance misuse but also marginalised as they were living in a rural community and were of a mixed racial background living within South Africa. The research team deliberately chose participatory learning action tools to collect data to reduce the risk to the families.

Despite the success of using participatory methodology as well as following strict ethical procedures. I was not prepared for the vulnerability of the participants. I listened to families tell stories of racial discrimination express their concerns for safety as well as their daily struggle to survive poverty. As a black academic and researcher in South Africa, research always involves vulnerability because we are confronted not only with our own vulnerability but also our participants’ vulnerability.  Our participants marginalization may often reflect our own experience.

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